How to Pet a Squirrel

One of the most stressful parts of life is not being able to pet wild animals. If you’re like me, there’s nothing that makes you want to grind your teeth together and push your hands into your cheeks more than not being able to pet a cute, fuzzy little animal. Many of us feel like this when we take a trip to the Boston Common or Gardens and see an abundance of wittle squirrels scurrying around. In my distress, I’ve found a way to satisfy my needs.

If you’d like to feed some squirrels, pet some squirrels, or get squirrels to climb on you, you’re in the right place, pal. Just follow these steps and tips and you’ll have squirrels on you in no time. 

What kind of food they eat?

Squirrels eat all kinds of food, but their favorite treat is an appetizing shelled nut. They love gnawing on that shell and working hard to get that tasty reward inside. In my experience, pistachios have proved very successful. Feed them pistachios. Don’t get the ones with the red, that’s not good for them. Also peanuts are not very healthy. Don’t give them peanuts. Other nuts that work are walnuts, almonds, and cashews.

How you get them eat the food?

Many people are aware that if you wave your arm up and down like the flip of a squirrel’s tail, a squirrel will approach you. Another way of getting a squirrel’s attention is to toss your nut up and down. This is probably even better than the arm wave. Squirrels have a very keen sense for falling nuts. If your squirrel comes close enough to you, hold your treat out in a non-threatening manner, and they’ll snatch that snack faster than you can say “Timbuktu”. 

How you pet? 

Some squirrels are friendlier than others. You can often tell by how quickly they approach you how easy they will be to pet.  Generally the larger ones are less threatened. After feeding it a couple of nuts, try getting your squirrel to come closer to you for the nut. Many squirrels will built trust with you as long as they keep getting the reward. Pet it while it’s knowing on your nut, if it doesn’t mind sitting near you as it eats. Some will keep their distance once they get the food. If this is the case, maybe find another squirrel. I find that squirrels are least alarmed if you start petting them with one or two fingers on the head first. Head first, then stroke the rest.

How it climb you?

After your squirrel gets comfortable with you, try getting your squirrel to climb on your leg to get the food by teasing and trailing the treat so that the squirrel has to go on top of you to get it. Generally, if the squirrel is comfortable, you can trail it further onto you each time. Eventually you may even be able to get your squirrel on your shoulder, or even your head! They may start climbing you even if you haven’t shown a nut because they know that they need to go on top of you to get it. You can certainly train them. 

Am I get hurt? 

In my experience, a squirrel will not bite you unless they think your finger is a nut. They might scratch, but this doesn’t
usually break the skin. Often times, the scratch is not because the squirrel is trying to hurt you, it just can’t help having sharp claws. If it does, Neosporin will do the trick. They have no reason to attack you.

Other tip

Look, not all squirrels are the same. Some are less good pets than others. You may have to move on from a few squirrels before finding one that is easy to train. They may take a few different trips to train, especially to the point where one will climb on your head. If you get a good squirrel, chances are they’ll hang out in the same area most of the time. For example, I have a squirrel who I’ve seen multiple times by the gardens, and he will climb you without hesitation. Maybe you’ll even meet him one day. 

Petting squirrels is a great experience. It’s an activity that that will make your friends think you’re really cool, and one that you’ve likely never experienced. It will make you feel connected with nature and satisfy that urge to pet cute wildlife.

Cole Jaeger ~ VMA '18